RuPaul’s Drag Race Episode 1

RuPaul is back with a fresh, (mostly) very young cast of queens! Drag Race is officially speaking to a generation of queers that quite possibly only know RuPaul as the game show hostess. Tracking Ru through the years, it has been fascinating to see him rebirth herself into the last four seasons of this series. He is a great role model for many a lonely gay boy finding their way in the world, dishing out words of advice and teaching hilarious comedic timing. And while I don’t always agree with her choices (I’m still getting over Tyra Banks, Shangela, and the decision to make the ladies compete in teams of two during All Stars), I always respect his authority and taste. Remind me to tell you about the time I met Ru and she needed to borrow my iPod – I cowered in her grand essence.

By the time we’re finished with the entrances into the workroom, I already have my eye on a few favorties. Jade Jolie and Jinkx Monsoon are tickling my Tammie Brown funny boner. I’m sick for Jade’s gabby gigglepuss and dying over the the fact that Jinkx is “Seattle’s premiere Jewish narcoleptic drag queen. Coco Montrese has pre-existing drama with Alyssa Edwards – word on the street is that, as Miss Gay USA, Alyssa wasn’t showing up to appearances, so she was defrocked and the crown went to runner-up Coco, who is being accused of tattletaling on Alyssa. My gut instinct says “Show up for your performances, hunty”. Team Coco… so far. My favorite favorite is Roxxxy Andrews. She’s dropped some pounds, but still considers herself “juicy” and gurl knows how to wurk a runway! She is lighthearted, happy, and totally adorable in and out of drag.

There is something so damn delightful about making the ladies dress up in full drag and then making them do an underwater photo shoot, a la America’s Next Top Model. Most of the queens handle this well, except for Alaska Thunderfuck (who gets her namesake from a strain of marijuana). After two half-assed attempts, she just gave up. When RuPaul offered a third chance to get the shot, Alaska huffed and puffed, said no, then quit the challenge. Aside from a shocked look on Ru’s face, there wasn’t any admonishment. Alaska shoulda been read hard and put away wet.

Alaska sort of just laughed it all off, stripped out of her dripping clothes, then went running naked through the workroom and started swinging her giant horse dick in everyone’s face. Classy! A burden that Alaska shares with us is that she always feels that she lives in the shadow of her delightfully talented boyfriend, Sharon Needles, who won season 4 of Drag Race. They fought before Sharon left to do the show, they fought while she was filming, and they’ve been fighting since. Alaska is clearly jealous of her boyfriend’s success and that’s shitty. What’s also shitty is that Alaska made the top 3 at judging. Really, Ru? So, a tired, Project Runway wannabe dress made from blue plastic wrap salvaged from the garbage not only redeems Alaska’s crap attitude about quitting a challenge, but elevates her into the top 3? That stinks more than any of those fishy bitches on the runway.

What’s best about this show? We live in a world where we have drag queens competing on national TV. Its truly an art form and its a legitimate way to make a living. Its also campy, fun, shady, thunderfucking drama and I love it!

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