The Pope is Quitting!!?

evil-pope

omgomgomgomg OH. MY. GOD.

The Pope is quitting citing that his strength “has deteriorated in me to the extent that I have had to recognize my incapacity to adequately fulfill the ministry entrusted to me. For this reason, and well aware of the seriousness of this act, with full freedom I declare that I renounce the ministry of Bishop of Rome”.

My brain is exploding with too many jokes. News like this simply makes me short circuit.

Thanks for the job creation! Gonna update my resume to include “excels at not covering up molestation scandals” and “has the ability to not be a total turdpile”. What’s God’s email?

But seriously folks, does quitting make him the Sarah Palin of Popes? Are all those secret gay sex orgies at the Vatican finally taking its toll on his strength? I mean, he’s pretty old. Quitting proves he’s not a Nazi. Nazi’s never quit. They either got killed or disappeared when shit went down and slinked away — oh wait. I bet by summer there’s a huge Catholic scandal and they’re gonna blame it all on this Pope, who will have exited the church by then. Mark my words!

For realsies though – The Pope’s last day is February 28th. I look forward to smoking some purple haze for several days and will let everyone know when I’ve made My decision.

The Five Awesome Guys Show

540130_10151420864202360_699412976_n

We changed our show name! No longer Poplitical, we are now The Five Awesome Guys Show! This week, we’re discussing the death of ex-Mayor of NYC Ed Koch, The Boy Scouts of America who are looking into lifting their national ban on gays, the series finale of 30 Rock, and much more! Please subscribe to my Youtube channel to follow our show every week!

Unemployment, God, & Applebee’s

applebee tipAn unnamed server at an unnamed restaurant was given this receipt as a tip. Automatic gratuity for parties of 6 or more are standard at this particular restaurant, but the Pastor took great umbrage against the policy, crossed out the tip amount, wrote a huge zero with an obnoxious slash through it in the “additional tip” space, THEN wrote “I give God 10% Why do you get 18?” Well la-di-fucking-dah. The tip was charged on the credit card regardless, but the Pastor clearly wanted to make a statement – and a statement she did make.

Another server, who didn’t wait on the party, took the photo above, shared it online, and it went viral immediately, sparking moral outrage in both Christian and Atheism communities (and everyone in between). Internet sleuths tracked down the Pastor by her signature. Here is a kooky video of her “preaching” at her store front “church”.

Once people found out her church’s name, they alerted her “congregation”. A friend of Pastor Bell’s told her that her name was all over the internet, which prompted Pastor Bell to call Applebee’s to complain. Mind you, no one on the internet knew which restaurant this happened at until this phone call. It’s been reported that she demanded everyone be fired – the server who waited on her, the server who took the photo, and the manager on duty. Applebee’s responded by firing only the server who posted the receipt stating, “Our Guests’ personal information – including their meal check – is private, and neither Applebee’s nor its franchisees have a right to share this information publicly. We value our Guests’ trust above all else. Our franchisee has apologized to the Guest and has taken disciplinary action with the Team Member for violating their Guest’s right to privacy. This individual is no longer employed by the franchisee.” Applebee’s has posted similar information on their own website, but it was regarding positive feedback.

“My heart is really broken,” Pastor Bell told The Smoking Gun. “I’ve brought embarrassment to my church and ministry.” SO CREATING A NEW UNEMPLOYED WAITRESS IS GOING TO HELP TURN THAT AROUND?!! On Pastor Bell’s website (which was hacked and now appears to have been taken down), she describes herself as a mother who was unemployed and homeless on the street before turning her life over to Christ. I would think she would understand the repercussions of getting someone fired. Here’s a news segment where she is trying to act meek and mild to regain some self respect.

This ordeal is a great example of religious entitlement. People sometimes think they have the moral superiority over someone else because of their relationship with God. God seems cool, and if he exists – great! But, for people to use him as justification for their complete horsecrap never ceases to amaze me. The act of preaching in public is the height of selfishness. If people want to participate in a sermon, they will go to church, or read their Bible, or harvest their unique relationship with God on a one on one basis. Stop making yourself feel like a better person by going out into the world and placing your insecurities in the middle of the public square. Injecting ones religion into someone else’s life, whether it be very adorable Mormon young men who knock at your door uninvited or voting discrimination into law, is weak. If you need others to believe what you believe, then how firm are your own beliefs? Where does your own truth go when you have to convince people of the “truth”? This is why when a subway preacher starts screaming at a trapped audience on a train I sing “Holiday” by Madonna in their face until all the hipsters join in and the preacher shuts up or moves to another train car.

Applebee’s has been dealing with a PR debacle ever since. Whoever heads their social media presence should be fired as well, or at least demoted to server for a few months. The public outcry on their Facebook page has been fascinatingly hilarious to read through. Applebee’s has succeeded in bringing all sorts of people together in outrage over this issue. Christians, non-Christians, gays, straights, all ethnicities etc. Everyone everywhere is raining fire and brimstone down on the corporation, who also recently has cut hours with their staff so they aren’t required to provide health insurance. Nice work, corporate America.

Anyway, this is what I’m mad about this week. Have a great day!

Our Bravo TV Recap Show!

It’s that time of week again! Join me, Jon Richardson, Michele Nieves, and Eric Curto as we chatter and breakdown all your favorite Bravo shows. You can find more recap news and past episodes at Eric’s blog Your Reality Recap or on our YouTube playlist!

The Edge Of Reality on Blog Talk Radio

Check out my recent radio appearance!

The Edge Of Reality 01/31 by NDB Media 3 | Blog Talk Radio.

We discuss some of my strategies on “The Glass House”, my opinions on reality shows that I’m currently watching, and most importantly, find out lots of information on the upcoming Reality Rally in Temecula, CA.

Boy Scouts say heyyy?

115414_600

The Boy Scouts of America are about to have a big, gay meeting. After having defended their rights to ban gay scouts or leaders all the way to the Supreme Court, the organization is now considering changing its national policy. I mean, if boys in the military can shower and shoot loads of guns together, then certainly the BSA would see this as an opportunity to show how great it is to be open minded and accepting of diversity within their club. What a great opportunity to teach little Charlie how some boys like boys and some boys like girls and its totally okay either way. Now lets all be respectful of each other and finish carving this bar of soap into a race car!

The BSA is proposing lifting its national ban, but what that does is allow the decision whether or not to be discriminatory up to the local levels. Basically, the policy could potentially be “Don’t discriminate, unless you want to”. I suppose thats the best answer if you want to wash your hands of any wrongdoing and then pass the torch down to your local leaders.

However, the BSA has asked for public input. That means you. And me! We’re the public! You can call them at 972-580-2330 or email NationalSupportCenter@Scouting.org I’m very curious to see how this pans out…

RuPaul’s Drag Race Episode 1

RuPaul is back with a fresh, (mostly) very young cast of queens! Drag Race is officially speaking to a generation of queers that quite possibly only know RuPaul as the game show hostess. Tracking Ru through the years, it has been fascinating to see him rebirth herself into the last four seasons of this series. He is a great role model for many a lonely gay boy finding their way in the world, dishing out words of advice and teaching hilarious comedic timing. And while I don’t always agree with her choices (I’m still getting over Tyra Banks, Shangela, and the decision to make the ladies compete in teams of two during All Stars), I always respect his authority and taste. Remind me to tell you about the time I met Ru and she needed to borrow my iPod – I cowered in her grand essence.

By the time we’re finished with the entrances into the workroom, I already have my eye on a few favorties. Jade Jolie and Jinkx Monsoon are tickling my Tammie Brown funny boner. I’m sick for Jade’s gabby gigglepuss and dying over the the fact that Jinkx is “Seattle’s premiere Jewish narcoleptic drag queen. Coco Montrese has pre-existing drama with Alyssa Edwards – word on the street is that, as Miss Gay USA, Alyssa wasn’t showing up to appearances, so she was defrocked and the crown went to runner-up Coco, who is being accused of tattletaling on Alyssa. My gut instinct says “Show up for your performances, hunty”. Team Coco… so far. My favorite favorite is Roxxxy Andrews. She’s dropped some pounds, but still considers herself “juicy” and gurl knows how to wurk a runway! She is lighthearted, happy, and totally adorable in and out of drag.

There is something so damn delightful about making the ladies dress up in full drag and then making them do an underwater photo shoot, a la America’s Next Top Model. Most of the queens handle this well, except for Alaska Thunderfuck (who gets her namesake from a strain of marijuana). After two half-assed attempts, she just gave up. When RuPaul offered a third chance to get the shot, Alaska huffed and puffed, said no, then quit the challenge. Aside from a shocked look on Ru’s face, there wasn’t any admonishment. Alaska shoulda been read hard and put away wet.

Alaska sort of just laughed it all off, stripped out of her dripping clothes, then went running naked through the workroom and started swinging her giant horse dick in everyone’s face. Classy! A burden that Alaska shares with us is that she always feels that she lives in the shadow of her delightfully talented boyfriend, Sharon Needles, who won season 4 of Drag Race. They fought before Sharon left to do the show, they fought while she was filming, and they’ve been fighting since. Alaska is clearly jealous of her boyfriend’s success and that’s shitty. What’s also shitty is that Alaska made the top 3 at judging. Really, Ru? So, a tired, Project Runway wannabe dress made from blue plastic wrap salvaged from the garbage not only redeems Alaska’s crap attitude about quitting a challenge, but elevates her into the top 3? That stinks more than any of those fishy bitches on the runway.

What’s best about this show? We live in a world where we have drag queens competing on national TV. Its truly an art form and its a legitimate way to make a living. Its also campy, fun, shady, thunderfucking drama and I love it!